Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize