Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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