Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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