Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.

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(916): People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks. http://tfl.nu/z8b4

Replies (3) Good night (992) Bad night (533)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.

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(505): My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut. http://tfl.nu/nzlu

Replies (18) Good night (4488) Bad night (841)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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(303): You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you. http://tfl.nu/620d

Replies (20) Good night (5820) Bad night (1148)
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(951): View more from California

so let's talk penis.

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(951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv

Replies (16) Good night (4651) Bad night (795)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

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(402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye

Replies (35) Good night (8592) Bad night (1396)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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(623): Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes. http://tfl.nu/phpt

Replies (1) Good night (1760) Bad night (915)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.

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(417): I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted. http://tfl.nu/wdy8

Replies (6) Good night (1665) Bad night (653)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.

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(618): Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually. http://tfl.nu/s8ua

Replies (4) Good night (1862) Bad night (619)
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(937): View more from Ohio

She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?

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(937): She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity? http://tfl.nu/jd0w

Replies (10) Good night (2764) Bad night (648)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not

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(717): C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not http://tfl.nu/iniv

Replies (0) Good night (684) Bad night (409)
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(914): View more from New York

There is an alarming amount of urine in here.

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(914): There is an alarming amount of urine in here. http://tfl.nu/rii0

Replies (5) Good night (365) Bad night (819)
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(417): View more from Missouri

All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"

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(417): All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?" http://tfl.nu/7ine

Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (428)
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(518): View more from New York

Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch

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(518): Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch http://tfl.nu/1zpa

Replies (2) Good night (403) Bad night (553)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas

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(608): either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas http://tfl.nu/63t6

Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (363)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

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(202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48

Replies (7) Good night (407) Bad night (839)

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