Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (588)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?

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  (203): Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night? http://tfl.nu/k5ad
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (1667)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea

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  (985): I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/2rdl
  Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (3025)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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  (651): i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once http://tfl.nu/7d16
  Replies (14) Good night (4268) Bad night (1905)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.

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  (570): found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory. http://tfl.nu/fqts
  Replies (13) Good night (4603) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it

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  (949): i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it http://tfl.nu/yzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (3467)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...

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  (602): Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship... http://tfl.nu/dw4u
  Replies (23) Good night (1167) Bad night (6692)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..

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  (902): i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see.. http://tfl.nu/ubpf
  Replies (9) Good night (4212) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  it's like russian roulette but with a penis

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  (480): it's like russian roulette but with a penis http://tfl.nu/nnes
  Replies (12) Good night (2571) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

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  (512): Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend? http://tfl.nu/hvyw
  Replies (11) Good night (5280) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on

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  (281): I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on http://tfl.nu/3rfp
  Replies (13) Good night (4454) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.

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  (515): No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today. http://tfl.nu/dl5o
  Replies (2) Good night (1323) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."

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  (402): You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated." http://tfl.nu/111j
  Replies (2) Good night (1268) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.

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  (717): I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets. http://tfl.nu/qvke
  Replies (9) Good night (1858) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up

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  (202): you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up http://tfl.nu/s6ka
  Replies (4) Good night (1201) Bad night (330)

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