Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.

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(516): View more from New York

until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life

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(754): View more from Florida

He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?

(954): View more from Florida

In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.

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(678): View more from Georgia

i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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(650): View more from California

future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.

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(310): View more from California

So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?

(310): View more from California

Um. We had sex on a washing machine.

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