): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
