Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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