He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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