So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.