Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.