My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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