I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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