I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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