I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
