I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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