Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
