dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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