today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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