Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so let's talk penis.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We talked him into tasing himself.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
