Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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