allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize