so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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