Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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