no, he came in my armpit
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
