Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
