i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
