I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
