Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
