I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
