last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
