i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize