How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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