he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
