her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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