If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
