There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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