Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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