btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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