just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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