it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
