i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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