soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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