Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
