I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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