Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
