We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
