U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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