This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
