So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
