i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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