was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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