that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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