do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
