Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
