I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
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Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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