Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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