He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize