fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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