You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
