Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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