shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
